I have fallen behind a bit on the blogs, and didn't submit one this Tuesday. I had a bunch queued up but need to get back into writing them. I've been playing a TON of poker lately though, and taking notes, so there's definitely a lot to write about.
I thought I would take today to write a little bit about how it's going overall and how I'm feeling. I've just been writing session reports but nothing about my mindset. I feel like I'm at a critical point in my poker career. I've been here many times before and it always ends up the same way, and I need to make sure it doesn't go the same way this time.
Poker has honestly been going really bad for me lately. I was on top of the world a month or so ago. At my peak, I was up about $2600 total and was feeling great. I was implementing this new strategy (WPT Boot Camp recommendations) and felt I was following the plan pretty well. I was winning and I could see how their strategy was a good one. I also got lucky in some big pots. It's easy to forget about that and the effect it has on your bottom line. For example, I got all-in preflop for $600 with K-K against A-A in the Wynn 1/3 NL game. River, king. That's a $1200 swing in your bankroll. And when you are talking about your total overall profit being $2600 max, that's super substantial.
Since that initial rush, it has died down. I went flat and wasn't winning much for quite a while. And lately I've been feeling the negative side of variance. Nothing has been working well for me, and I've gone from a total of $2600 won to only $1100.
I've had some rough hands. The other day I flopped set under set in a $1100 pot. I've had a ton of hands that have been pretty standard, but I didn't win. Two hands I can remember in the last few weeks I flopped a set vs a flopped straight, got all-in, and lost. And then there have been others that could have gone either way. Flop 2 pair vs a straight draw, all in, straight draw hit. Flop a pair and a flush draw vs just top pair, all in, no improvement. Get all in on the flop with 2 overcards and a gutshot vs a pair, don't hit. It all adds up.
I'm not trying to complain. And, I'm staying super cool at the table. I just count out what I owe, push it over, and pop a few more hundreds off to keep playing. And I know that this is a part of the game and it's expected. And it's unavoidable. One thing that Nick from the WPT Boot Camp said was that we can't be upset when things happen, like flopping set under set. It's a foregone conclusion of playing poker. It WILL happen. He brought up that you wouldn't get mad when you run out of milk. "Out of milk? Damn it!! EVERY TIME!!!!" lol. I love "every time", that makes me laugh. But it's so true. We know we are going to run out of milk, or it's going to rain out. It's completely expected and we don't get mad about it. Why would you get mad when you flop a set vs a bigger set? It's just going to happen sometimes. Probably not very often, but it's going to happen.
I'm enjoying poker right now, but it's definitely tough. You just want to win so bad. And when you have losing session after losing session, it's easy to doubt how you are playing. That's where I am right now. I want to keep playing, and I want to stay cool. My biggest problem is that it's really easy to doubt yourself and question whether you are good enough to win at all.
I'm going to stick with it. I'm going to continue playing and I know it will turn around. But it's definitely rough on me right now. I thought I was so close to getting back into the 2/5 game. I had some great weeks ($1k+ wins over the course of the week) and thought, one or two more weeks like this, and I'm back at 2/5 NL. And that's where I really want to be. But now I am knocked down and it's hard to get back up.
The good news is that I essentially have unlimited money to play, at least 1/2 NL. I have $1100 in my bankroll and worst case, I can pull more money out to play. I don't think there is any real risk of ruin for me. If I stick with it, I can give myself the opportunity to come back. I just need to stick with it.
I've been trying to stay positive. My wife has been supportive. Also my man Johnny (aka the only person that reads this blog) has been super awesome and helpful. :-) It has been great being able to talk about some hands and just have someone to vent to or get positive words during a session. I think it has really helped me out and it makes me smile knowing that someone is there sweating my action and rooting for me. Thanks Johnny!
Slow and steady wins the race, and that's what I'm going to try to do here. So often in the past I start off a poker streak by running really hot, winning a ton, and at my first big continued downswing I get frustrated and give up. That's where I am right now. But I know if I keep playing 1/2 for the next few months, at some point it WILL turn around. And I WILL go on that hot streak where it feels like I'm the best poker player alive. Playing great, making good decisions, and also running hot when it counts. It WILL happen, no question. I just need to put the hours in, pay attention and play my best, and wait for it.
I'll probably start the normal blog rotation back up next week. This weekend definitely more poker.
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